new year na! hindi parin ako nagbabago
wala parin...
kahit anong gawin ko, i just can't stop being the stupid person that i am. i thought, because it's another new year, then maybe i should iron out the crumples of my life. well, i am actually doing it, trying it, maybe... or sumthing.. i was supposed to tel someone how i "feel". pero, i read something that made me loose my courage. nakakahabag ng loob, ultimate. and talking to that person tonight made it worse.

but i said, i'll do it. no matter how hard, or no matter how off beat it is i'm going to tell that person how i feel. maybe it'll somehow lighten the burden i'm carying...

and maybe, we'll setle our differences there. start all over again or continue where we ended. i don't know. i'm playing the game here, and for the first time i'm not the one giving the rules.

he has all the cards, and he could bluff or give me the right ones or even take all the aces that i have. i don't know.

i'm scared actually. i dunno what to do. siya parin ang bukangbibig nya.. hindi ba siya nagsasawa? i thought it's over between them? or maybe it's over between us?

and i'm still the one not letting go of the past while he embraces a new year without me, a new life without me...

alix | 11:55:00 PM